


So We Kiss Now Or?

by periwren



Category: Real Person Fiction, Sander Sides, Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Courtroom Drama, Kissing, could be gayer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-01-23 07:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18545404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/periwren/pseuds/periwren
Summary: Thomas's last video Selfishness vs Selflessness could have been a lot gayer after Patton asked this question, too bad Thomas plays all the characters himself.





	1. Chapter 1

“Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth under pains and penalties of perjury? I know I do.”

“I do.”

“I do.”

“I do.”

“Whatever.”

“I do.”

“Okay, so, we kiss now or …?” asked Patton.

There was a brief pause in the courtroom.

“N-no Patton. That was us swearing in-” started Logan.

“Yes. We do kiss. Patton shall we go first?” interrupted Deceit turning to the moral side standing next to him, opening his arms wide inviting an embrace. Patton didn’t even hesitate as he strode over into the others arms and passionately locked lips with him.

“AHHH!”

“WHAAA!”

“PATTON NO!”

“OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD, I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING! USE YOUR TONGUE, MAKE IT GAYER!”

As they pulled apart Patton let out a school girl like giggle, while Deceit just smirked. Patton quickly turned on his heel and faced Thomas, “Okay your turn kiddo!”

“What. No -I – wait hmph!”

Deceit turned to the other side of the courtroom and looked at the others, his smirk just got wider.

Virgil had taken off his shoes and was preparing to throw them at Deceit if he even took a step towards him. Logan was pulling at chunks of his hair because he was in such disbelief of the what he had just witnessed.

Roman however; “Oh, oh! Do me. Do me next please!”


	2. Chapter 2

"Not...guilty?"

"Oooh, said with the confidence of a man who has his hand stuck in the cookie jar... in a cookie factory... and his pants are down...and they're on fire."

"Ah what? That is one weird mental image you've just described Deceit." said Thomas

"Hmph" replied Deceit smirking in Patton's direction.

"OBJECTION! That has nothing to do with this case - and it was just that one time!" shouted Patton.

"Wait - what Patton?"

"Ah-nothing."

"Ha ha ha, now that was a fun weekend." chimed in Roman. 

"No it wasn't! Do you know how close he was to getting second degree burns when his pants caught fire!" snapped Virgil. 

"Okay - seriously. _What?_ " asked Thomas. 

"Don't worry about it kiddo. It's not important and actually a really boring story - so we should probably just move on with this court case and um"

"Patton - you really shouldn't be keeping things from your client." said Deceit.

"No - it's the other way around. Thomas shouldn't be keeping anything from his lawyer - wait what am I doing, I don't care." muttered Virgil.

Patton blushed as Thomas raised his shocked eyebrows at him.

"It was just an accident, we went to a cookie factory and well I was eating cookies because - well what else am I supposed to do in a cookie factory? But there was some faulty electrical wiring that happened to spark and caused my pants to catch on fire." explained Patton.

"And why were your pants down in the first place?" asked Thomas almost dreading the answer - imagining various scenarios that he would have to censor out of the video for his younger viewers. 

"Oh, well I had eaten so many cookies that my pants had become too tight, so I removed my belt but then they were too loose to stay up on their own and the fell down. And I couldn't pull them up because my hand was stuck in the one of the jars."

"Oh," sighed Thomas, relieved that the reason his pants were down wasn't something more adult, "I thought you might have been doing something naughty."

"Wha-no never." exclaimed Patton, who had a completely different mental picture of what "naughty" was. 

"Ahem." said Deceit clearing his throat looking hard at Patton, "I don't think that's quite true now is it Morality hmm?"

"What do you mean?" asked Thomas looking back at Patton again. 

"Well Patton why don't you tell Thomas what time you and the others decided to enter this cookie factory?"

"Eh...2am."

"YOU BROKE INTO A COOKIE FACTORY!" shouted Thomas.

"I'm sorry Thomas." wailed Patton. 

"I was against it and I was dragged along completely against my will." snapped Virgil. 

"... well I had a great time." shrugged Roman not caring at all that the sides had been breaking and entering.  


	3. Nothing but the truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh god this blooper - why was it not included in the actual video.

“Alright, Logan. You can go now.” said Roman shuffling some papers absentmindedly on the stand.

Logan was insulted. First, because they didn’t call him to begin with and now, because they were going to dismiss him so easily.

“I implore you to reconsider my involvement in this scenario!” he pleaded.

“I mean, we already have our roles…”

“I’m afraid this is a benched trial for you-” smirked Deceit lifting his hand ready to whisk Logan away until-

“WAIT!”

Everyone turned to look at Patton.

“I-I have one more question that I need to ask him.”

“Your honour – he’s already had his turn questioning the witness-

“Deceit _please_ – it’s really, really important.” begged Patton. Deceit glared at him, but his gaze slowly softened as Patton gave him is best puppy dog eyes look. Deceit sighed, if he let him do this then maybe later in the case he could do the same thing.

“Fine. Ask him your question.”

Logan sat up straighter in the witness stand.

“Ahem. Logan. Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth? _Do_ _you_ _lllliiiikkkee_ _meeee_?” smiled Patton.

Logan stiffened. Everyone else in the room snorted behind their hands – Deceit was so happy he let Patton ask that – oh my god the look on Logan’s face!

“Wha-That-that has nothing to do with this case!”

Roman banged his gavel, “Objection or overruled or whatever. As the honourable judge in this case I demand you answer defence’s question!”

Patton smiled and made flirty eyes at Logan from across the room.

“I-I-I”

“Remember nothing but the truth Logan, we are in a court of law, you know the rules. No need to get so flustered, remember you said you didn’t feel anything, so you should be able to answer this easily,” interjected Deceit.  

Logan blushed and fidgeted nervously as he took a deep breath.

Hurriedly and in the quietest voice he could manage, “YesIdolikePatton.” And then he vanished from the stand.

The others blinked at the sudden departure.

“Where’d he go?”

“He ran away – aw like a little elementary school kid!” And everyone burst into a fit of giggles.


End file.
